SAHM Evening Routine
A detailed evening in the life of a SAHM to two, two and under. An average, unaesthetic version trying to capture what the mental load is like. Part three of a three part day. The first two parts are available here:
5:15 p.m. - My sister and I arrive at barre class, we try to go six days a week. I feel lucky and privileged to have this time out of the house every day while my husband watches the kids. I almost texted my sister to cancel because I’m so tired, but every evening once we’re done I feel better and more energized.
6:25 p.m - I’m home from barre (it’s a ~15 minute back road drive) and everyone is at the dinner table. Jake has fed the dog and cats, and himself and the kids are in progress. I throw on the pumps, grab my plate and join everyone. We say grace even though everyone is already eating, and then we all share a peak and pit of the day. Sometimes we also share something we’re thankful for, or something we learned. Obviously it’s mostly Jake and I talking at this point, but I’m excited to hear what the kids have to say as they get older.
6:35 - Dinner time clean up. We wipe the kids, table, high chairs, and floor (Piper (our chocolate lab) helps with that part).
6:45 p.m. - It’s not raining so we decide to head outside for a walk. We get the kids in the stroller and walk the trails around our neighborhood, and visit the cows of course. Sometimes we walk to the ice cream shop down the street, which Jake suggested tonight, but I’m craving some peaceful and quiet walking time. We see a lot of bunnies, and Jack spotted a duck in the water! The walking trails are one of my favorite things about our neighborhood - We have a wetland area right behind our house, then a hilly area above that (where the cows live). Also, please look at Emma’s cute toes from tonight’s walk (while simultaneously ignoring the 5000 things I keep in the stroller basket, we spend a lot of time in this thing, okay).
7:45 p.m. - Back home! The kids play in the garage with Jake. I clean up the toys inside, and get their bedtime snack ready.
7:50 p.m. - Give kids bedtime snack, yogurt with fruit puree, probiotics, and vitamin d mixed in. Lately Jack has been mostly smearing the yogurt on the table instead of eating it, so he gets his mainly in the form of a yogurt popsicle (that he likes to use as a spoon lol), and some strawberry puree added in with his yogurt. I like these popsicle molds and usually do a mix of breast milk, yogurt and some sort of fruit.
Emma has some food allergies that we’re still figuring out, but we’re on day four of trialing strawberry and so far, so good. I trial a small amount once in the morning, and for the remainder of the day stick to food I know is safe (which is why she has apple with her yogurt instead of strawberry). I cook the fruit purées maybe twice a week and freeze smaller portions so we always have something to add into yogurt, popsicles etc. No added sugars, no preservatives, just coconut oil and fruit (nothing like a kid with allergies to get you really reading labels).
7:55 p.m. - I run upstairs to warm Emma’s bottle and get the bedrooms ready for bed. Sleep sacks, pajamas and diapers set out, white noise machines on (love this one, we have it in both the kid’s rooms). Milk mini fridge stocked for the night just in case. I set out clean pumps in Jack’s room and make sure the nightlight is on, just in case I do a middle of the night pump, or at the very least everything is ready for the morning.
8:05 p.m. - Final pump of the day (yesss, another day down), and wash dishes/ wipe down kids, table, high chairs, and floor from evening snack (yesss, the last clean of the day). Jack also requested banana and cheese. Fine by me, I’m just happy he wants to eat and am hopeful he’ll have a good night’s sleep.
8:10 p.m. - The cats split a can of cat food, everyone gets a bedtime snack. I remember that I forgot to give the dog her interceptor meds like three days ago. I give Piper her meds and then update my reminder on my calendar so it’s a consistent 30 days between when she actually took them and needs to take them again.
8:15 p.m. - I take my bedtime supplements: cod liver oil, probiotic, and magnesium l-threonate.
8:30 p.m. - We all head upstairs. Piper settles down in the big bed for a little bit, and Jake lets the kids have “diaper races” in the hallway (it’s exactly what it sounds like, the kids in their diapers chasing each other), then he gets both kids into the bathtub. Jake handles the kids bathtime every night and I am #gratefulthankfulblessed. Seriously though, I appreciate it so much. I change into my pajamas and wash my face/do my nighttime skincare routine. We divide and conquer once bath is over.
8:40 p.m. - Jake has toddler duty and I have baby duty. We both get the kid we’re in charge of in their diaper, jammies, and sleep sack (Jack wears one that he can walk in). I feed Emma her bedtime bottle; I whisper everything that’s wonderful about her, that she is so loved, and that I’m so lucky to be her mom. I kiss her sweet face and cheeks about 15 times.
I leave the pump parts and bottle for Jake to clean before bed (I figure if he has enough energy to stay up late, then he can spend ten minutes of that time washing stuff before bed, which he always does, and I’m always grateful for). On nights Jake comes to bed with us, I wash and start the sterilizer while everyone is in the bath.
9:00 p.m. - Emma is sleeping and I head into our room to put Jack down, Jake has been reading this book to him. Highly recommend if you have a toddler, he loves to say all the words he knows. Jake and Piper head downstairs; this is the time of day I feel bad for her - She used to sleep in our bed, but when I reached six months in my second pregnancy and was cosleeping with Jack, she got booted to the couch. I try to convince myself she likes the peace and quiet, *I* would like the peace and quiet.
I read a quick story to Jack, tonight it’s Llama Llama I Love You. I keep a rotation of quick reads on my nightstand, so that we don’t get to this time of day and the only book nearby is a ten minute read. My toddler isn’t one to be fooled though, he crawls off my husband’s side of the bed and grabs Little Critter’s I Just Forgot. He climbs back up and says “Critteeer!” - I say fine (this one is also a quick read), but this is the last story and then we’re going to turn out the light and sing songs.
Once we finish Little Critter, Jack asks for water. I keep a this cup on my nightstand and give it to him to take a sip, which he does, and part of his routine is giving sips to all of his stuffies too. I wait for Bunny and Bingo to take their sips of water. Bunny also has to take a “sip” from his foot, for reasons known only to my toddler. Yes, this happens every night. Bunny has his routine too, I guess. A hydrated king. Once the stuffies are done with their water, I also have to take a sip. K, water time is over and now it’s lights out time.
Right before turning out the lights, I tell my son everything that’s wonderful about him, that he is so loved, and that I’m so lucky to be his mom. Normally he’s rolling around, or bellyflopping, while I say all of these things. But I do it anyways. The other night, he looked at me while I was saying he’s strong, and smart, and brave, AND he said the words before I did (I usually say them in the same order every night). I felt like my heart could explode, I felt like I’m doing something right. Maybe my son is bellyflopping and making inaudible noises, but he’s still listening and internalizing it all.
By now it’s almost 9:30, time for lights out. I say we’re all done bellyflopping for the night and it’s time to lay on the pillow and sing songs. I turn out the light and my toddler says “baa baa”, we sing Baa Baa Black Sheep, ABC’s, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I always name a few songs and let him pick which ones he wants to sing first.
I tell Jack one more time how much I love him, and that it’s time for bed and I’m going to fall asleep soon. He makes noises to himself and rolls back and forth on the bed. I think we both fall asleep in ten minutes, or at least I do. I never know when exactly he falls asleep since I’m the first one to go. This is one of the things I actually like about cosleeping. I’m not impatiently waiting for my kid to fall asleep so I can leave the room. I’m not getting frustrated. I’m happy to fall asleep first and I know he’ll be sleeping soon too.
Another day down. I know tomorrow will be more of the same, and honestly, I really love it. I do things all day that I thought would be boring before becoming a mom, but now that I’m here, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.